Half Effect
by Seb Paul
Summary: The new adventures of Gordon Freeman in the Mass Effect universe. Read and Review!
1. Rise and shine Dr Freeman

**Disclaimer**:

_The_ Mass Effect_ universe and all of its characters are the intellectual property of Bioware and Electronic Arts, and are used in a non-profit manner for the purpose of entertainment. I own no rights to their creations._

__The_ Half-Life_ universe and all of its characters are the intellectual property of Valve, and are used in a non-profit manner for the purpose of entertainment. I own no rights to their creations.__

**Author's note**:

_'__Thoughts'_

"Dialogue"

"**Dialogue & warnings**"

* * *

><p>And now on with the story!<p>

The reclusive tycoon known only as the Illusive man sat in his chair looking over various mission reports, some completed by Shepard or by other Cerberus agents under his control. The reports were in electronic format and displayed through the interface of a highly advanced computer. Right in front of his 'workspace' an image of a star bathed the large chamber in a dark orange color.

While scrolling down the documents he would periodically drag from a cigarette and then drink from an expensive looking glass filled with alcohol. This image gave him a rather mysterious air, no doubt something he used to his advantage.

"Bring me the dossier on the assassin," he seemingly spoke to no-one.

A moment later a Cerberus agent entered the room and brought him a data pad, regarding a potential new crewmember for the commander's team. The assistant departed just as fast as he arrived.

After reading the document he massaged his temples deep in thought and then stared with contemplation at the half burned cigar resting in the ashtray.

_'Thane Krios would make an excellent addition for her team, but his motives and personality are still relatively unknown…'_

His line of thinking came to an abrupt end.

After looking for a second time to make sure his eyes weren't betraying him, he concluded that something was very wrong.

The shape formed by the smoke coming from his cigar hadn't dispersed into air, but actually looked frozen. His eyes narrowed in confusion and then they widened in shock when he looked ahead and saw that the usual constantly fluctuating image of the star was in stasis as well.

Controlling his urge to panic, he tried to come up with a logical explanation regarding what he was witnessing.

His first deduction was that someone had drugged him by placing a powerful substance in his usual drink. However he immediately excluded that possibility since he himself always periodically scanned his food.

The second deduction was that the room was placed into some kind of biotic field, but was forced to drop that theory as well. No such field existed, at least not one powerful enough to stop matter all-together.

As seconds passed and his theories diminished he was growing exceedingly frustrated with his situation.

"Riley, come here!" he called for his assistant hoping that he wasn't the only one experiencing the unusual phenomenon.

It only took a second for him to realize that no-one would respond as they were probably frozen as well.

'What the hell is going on here?' he voiced his thoughts.

As he was about to leave his chair and look for answers himself, he heard a sound coming from his right. It was the unmistaken sound of footsteps heading towards his position.

Thinking it was his assistant he spoke "You had better have a very good reason why you didn't respond to my call, Riley!" a tone of anger was present as well.

The slow raspy voice that answered from within the darkness was definitely not that of his assistant.

"I'm afraid Mr. Riley is… unavailable at the moment, but I would gladly explain your precarious situation."

A middle-aged man materialized from the shadows and entered the Illusive Man's line of sight, he looked Caucasian with a tall, thin physique, pale skin and blue-green eyes that strangely seemed to glow in the penumbra of the room. He was dressed in a gray/blue suit originating from the 21st century and carried a simple briefcase.

In answer the Illusive Man slightly inclined his head "And whom do I have pleasure of speaking to?"

The strange figure simply adjusted his tie "It is unimportant who I am Mr. Harper but if you must know I am simply an observer."

At the sound of his old name, the Illusive Man's voice and posture became tense "How do you know that name?" there was an unmistaken threat in his tone.

The pale man's eyes seemed to glow brighter in the darkness "I know a great many of things, however I still haven't explained my purpose here."

The Illusive Man was about to demand once more the reason why that man knew his real name, as that information was something he went to great lengths in order to keep hidden. But for some reason he found his voice stuck in his throat.

In panic he tried to get up from his chair and his eyes widened in shock when he noticed that his limbs were unresponsive as well

Taking deep breaths in order to calm his nerves he narrowed his eyes at the cryptic figure.

_'What do you want?'_ he thought and to his surprise the pale man answered.

"I'm here to offer you a deal Mr. Harper," the enigmatic government man walked closer "More specifically the services of a man which I'm sure you are very familiar with."

The image of a person appeared on the holographic screen.

Jack Harper was indeed well familiar with that man. In fact there wasn't a human on the face of the galaxy who hadn't heard of humanity's greatest hero at one point in their lives.

The image was that of a male in his mid-twenties, with auburn hair and intense green eyes framed by a pair of glasses. Even now close to two hundred years later the name of that man inspired awe. Although he had no previous military background, he almost singlehandedly stopped the greatest threat humankind had ever faced.

* * *

><p>Subject: Dr. Gordon Freeman<p>

Age: 27

Former occupations: Theoretical physicist, Black Mesa Level 3 Research Associate Scientist; Anti-Combine Resistance leader.

Sponsor: Classified

Current Status: Classified

* * *

><p>The Illusive Man stared at the screen for a few moments before turning his attention back to the enigmatic figure, clenching his hand he noticed that his motor functions had returned. He then calmly reached inside his pocket and took an expensive pack of cigars, from which he lighted one while his companion stood in polite silence.<p>

"Gordon Freeman has been reported MIA nearly 165 years ago during the battle for the Borealis," he spoke matter-of-factly exhaling a cloud of smoke.

The government man simply answered in the same detached manner as before "Dr. Freeman's services at that time were no longer –at this he struggled with the right word – necessary, as such my employers decided that he should be 'removed' for an indefinite period of time."

"And who are this employers that you speak of?" was the Illusive Man's immediate question.

The government man calmly brushed the left side of his suit – an action which seemed rather inappropriate for that moment – then focused his pale green eyes at the Illusive Man's own cybernetic ones.

"Do not concern yourself with matters beyond your understanding," for the first time in many years Jack Harper felt a shiver go down his spine at what he saw in that man's eyes "But for now know that your rather unfortunate kind has once more gained the attention of those who wish to do you harm."

The Illusive Man inclined his head "And by 'those who wish to harm us' are you by chance referring to the reapers?" he asked looking closely at his expression in order to figure out his reactions.

His companion however seemed amused "The reapers are merely pawns of the universal union themselves, artificial slaves tasked with exterminating lesser species in this side of the multiverse."

The Illusive Man's eyes narrowed down "Elaborate."

At once the scenery changed and the Cerberus leader looked alarmed at his new surroundings. Both he and the enigmatic man were no longer in his office but were seemingly transported inside a massive alien factory of some sorts. Jack stared wide-eyed, cigar still in his hands at what was happening before him.

"Where are we?" he asked with awe.

In response the pale government man once more adjusted his tie "Pay close attention Mr. Harper, this is the birth of the reapers."

Jack looked ahead and noticed what appeared to be cybernetic modified creatures of some sorts, dragging and then locking aliens resembling squids inside processing capsules. The pods then dissolved the unknown aliens while they screamed in horror. All throughout the twisted process he noticed something that truly caused his blood to freeze.

It was an advisor supervising the operation, guarded by his acolytes. He still remembered the feeling of repulsion he had as a child, reading about them in his history books. The advisors or the 'Shu'ulathoi' as the Vorigaunts called them, were the masterminds behind the combine occupation of earth that had occurred aprox. 185 years ago. They resembled large, pale grub-like creatures and were known to have telekinetic abilities. No certified proof of them ever existed aside from Alyx Vance's description. Now close to two hundred years later there were numerous skeptics that denied their existence, but of course Jack knew better than to listen to such fools.

The worst part was that the citadel council species themselves denied the existence of the combine, claiming that there wasn't enough evidence for the alleged occupation of earth, almost two hundred years before human kind had discovered the Prothean artifact on Mars.

And of course most of humanity ate that right out of the council's palms, choosing to discard hundreds of stories passed for generations.

It also didn't help that the Vortigaunts had seemingly vanished after the last battle and most of the wildlife from Xen died in a couple of decades, leaving humanity with nothing more than scars, stories and various documents. Since the combine had eliminated digital cameras of any sorts in their quest to strip them of their humanity, humans indeed had little proof of what happened in those days.

The citadels scattered across the globe might have provided evidence as well, but all of them self-destructed after the fall of the combine.

However for Cerberus it was a different matter. The Illusive Man had been interested at one point in his career regarding the combine and the enigmatic man known as Gordon Freeman and had sought extensively to find the truth, what he found offered little to no doubt that Dr. Freeman had indeed existed and that humanity had toyed with technologies beyond their comprehension damning themselves in the process.

His doubts were settled when he discovered the remains of the infamous Black Mesa Research Facility.

For five years he analyzed any surviving document and ordered his teams to explore the once massive structure located beneath the Nevada desert, what he found there cemented his beliefs that humanity should indeed be the dominant force in the galaxy and that without the foolish restrictions imposed by the council humankind would rise beyond their wildest dreams.

Humans had already analyzed and successfully utilized technologies that went beyond anything the Salarians or even the Asari could ever possibly imagine. This alone made them superior.

Unfortunately this also meant that humanity would get unwanted attention from higher beings, beings that wished to destroy them or turn them into mindless slaves. Something that Cerberus would not stand for.

Jack forced his attention from the horrifying scene and looked at the pale man standing next to him.

"So the combine were allegedly responsible for the creation of the reapers."

The ancient government man replied with in the same slow raspy tone "I believed it was necessary for me to show you, rather than explain it," at this he focused his inhuman eyes on the tycoon "Much more effective this way, don't you think?"

Before the Illusive man could respond, they were already in his office – the familiar frozen image of the star illuminating the chamber.

Sitting back in his chair Jack calmly picked a bottle of brandy and poured some of the liquid in a glass.

"Am I to assume that you are a third party, someone who has interests in stopping the combine and the reapers from destroying humanity?"

The enigmatic bureaucrat's eyes shined as eerily as before "My own interests are irrelevant Mr. Harper…," again small tremors went down Jack's spine "I'm certain that Dr. Freeman will be a good…" –he once more seemed to struggle with the words "…asset in your quest to defeat those who wish you harm."

With this he turned and made his way back to the shadows from which he arrived "See to it that Commander Shepard is informed of the newest addition to her team and also…," at this he stopped and met Jack's eyes "…before I leave, let me give you one word of advice."

The Illusive Man met his stare and asked in a cold tone "And what advice might that be?"

"In the foreseeable future you might find yourself with… opportunities to amass great power…" the pale man's eyes seemed more inhuman then ever "if you choose those opportunities then…prepare for, unforeseen consequences."

With those final words the darkness seemed to swallow him signifying his departure.

Jack Harper stared for a while at the place where the strange man had been, then took a drag from his cigar contemplating this new turn of events. He absently noticed that time had returned back to normal due to the oceans of plasma that moved behind him. He called for his assistant.

Riley arrived in the chamber a second later.

The Illusive man calmly placed his cigar in the ashtray "Send the data from my computer to the Normandy then prepare the transmitter."

"Yes sir."

**H**λ**LF-EFFECT**

By

Seb20

"Commander?"

A young woman appearing to be in her late twenties looked up from the terminal she was currently working at, her light brown eyes stared questionably at the one who called her attention.

Kelly Chambers, the Normandy-SR2's resident psychologist smiled apologetically at her superior.

"I'm sorry to disturb you ma'am, but the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you."

Shepard closed her eyes already feeling the tension growing in her forehead, hadn't they already spoken a couple of hours ago? When she made it perfectly clear to that manipulative bastard that she didn't trust him one bit. The latest events concerning Jack and that late Cerberus facility hadn't served to alienate her growing mistrust towards that man.

"Did he say why?"

Chambers shook her head "He was very to the point and if I might speak freely, he also seemed very tense."

Shepard frowned but didn't dwell too much on that information, stepping away from her private console she calmly made her way towards the automatic door.

"If anyone asks for me tell them I'm currently occupied," she said exiting the combat information center.

"Yes commander."

* * *

><p>Like always she found herself facing the Illusive Man calmly siting in his chair and smoking those expensive cigarettes of his, but this time he seemed to have an almost unnoticeable tense air around him.<p>

"Any reason why you wanted to chat?" she broke the silence wanting for once to have the first word.

"There's been a change of plans," and from his tone the commander knew the tycoon wasn't in the mood to fuck around "I've sent you a new dossier, someone that might move the odds in our favor."

Shepard raised an eyebrow "You don't say and what makes him more special than the rest of us?"

Her omni-tool made a beeping sound signaling the data transfer.

The Illusive Man stared her down with his unusual glowing cybernetic eyes "Why don't you see for yourself."

Still skeptical the commander activated her personal computer and searched for the new dossier. The moment she found it she deactivated the device, crossed her arms and fixed Jack with the coldest glare ever received.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes," was her simple answer.

The Illusive man met her glare head on "I never make jokes, especially with the fate of humanity depending on us."

Shepard closed her eyes once more, the tension slowly turning into a migraine. She desperately needed to shoot something and the man standing in front of her was quickly turning out to be her best option. Forcing her temper down, she replied.

"Gordon Freeman has been dead for over a century and a half, so unless you plan on bringing his skeleton back to life I don't see how he can join my crew."

"Actually, he went MIA after the battle for the Borealis," replied the Illusive Man exhaling a cloud of smoke "And the resistance never found his body."

"Of course they never found a body!" she snapped "That ship went up like fireworks on the 4th of July, haven't you read the history books."

Jack continued in his usual calm tone "Believe what you want Shepard but I have a source that confirmed Dr. Freeman's escape and the fact that he is still alive…"

"What source?" interrupted the commander in a suspicious tone.

To her surprise the Illusive Man actually seemed uncomfortable with revealing the origin of that particular information "For you it is irrelevant, just make sure that he makes it on the Normandy, we need his help against the collectors."

Shepard knew that it was futile to interrogate him for further details, he had a talent for evading difficult questions.

"Let's say I believe you for a moment," she began in an exasperated voice "But there's still the huge matter of that man actually being alive, so unless he's secretly an Asari in disguise or a Krogan I don't see how he survived for all those years."

Jack massaged his forehead, something which was turning out to be a habit for him "We both know there are ways of extending one's life with illegal substances and nanites, cryogenics and various devices can also preserve an individual for centuries," he met her eyes "I suggest asking him yourself once you bring him aboard the ship."

The commander sighed knowing that she was being dismissed "And where am I supposed to look for him anyway?"

"Horizon," was the Illusive Man's immediate answer "Everything you need to know is written in his file and we…"

He was interrupted by his assistant who arrived in the chamber with an air of urgency and brought him a datapad. Jack took in the newest information while Shepard looked around the room obviously annoyed with being ignored.

"Order your men at their stations commander, this new data concerns the collectors."

That captured her attention "What do you mean?"

"Another source of mine confirmed a potential collector attack against Horizon in the immediate future" answered the tycoon in his usual calm tone "Head over to the Iera System and do everything it takes to keep those aliens from abducting any more of our people."

He pressed a few buttons and the image of the planet appeared next to him.

"Has Mordin delivered the countermeasure for the seeker swarms?"

"Not yet" answered the commander truthfully.

"Then let's hope he works well under pressure," he inhaled a smoke from his cigar "There's something else you should know."

The woman if front of him crossed her arms "Such as?"

"One of your former crew, Kaidan Alenko – he's stationed on Horizon."

For a moment she looked happy with the possibility of meeting with her lover, but then a frown immediately appeared on her face "Last time I checked Kaidan is Alliance, why is he out in the Terminus Systems?"

"Officially, he's on an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies, but they're up to something. And if they sent lieutenant Alenko then it must be something big."

"Perhaps you should take it up with him," he finally suggested.

She scoffed "The collectors just happened to pick out a colony with one of my former crew? I don't buy it."

The Illusive Man pushed the half-burned cigar into the ashtray "It shouldn't be a surprise that the Collectors are interested in you and your friends, especially if they're working for the Reapers."

Shepard sighed and was about to step out of the quantum transmitter, but paused when she remembered something.

"A bit convenient that Freeman is on Horizon just as the collectors are heading there isn't it? "

The Illusive Man ignored her snide remark and fixed her with a cold glare "You have your mission commander, see to it."

She resisted the urge to show him the middle finger and left without looking back.

* * *

><p>Darkness was all he could see.<p>

It was like floating in a never ending ocean, he couldn't smell, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even speak. He could feel nothing. His body was left numb, paralyzed and hopeless.

He felt like crying but he gave up that privilege years ago back at Black Mesa, all he could feel now was guilt.

'_Alyx'_

His mind whispered that name and the pain in his chest increased with each passing moment. That name released a flood of emotions and memories and for a moment he felt the touch of her lips upon his.

The kiss they shared before the final battle, it was the first time they acknowledged their feelings for each other, after weeks of fighting against the combine that brief show of affection from her felt like heaven.

But like everything good that ever happened in his life, it quickly went up in flames. Last thing he could remember was fighting desperately against legions of soldiers coming for him, trying to reach that accursed ship's control chamber, where he could finally end the nightmare which began with Black Mesa.

"Dooooctorr Freeemaan..." (**AN**: See Half Life 2 episode 2 – 'heart to heart' scene.)

That twisted voice. He could recognize that voice anywhere. It haunted his dreams and promised only pain and suffering in his life.

A moment later he found himself facing that man, no…that monster, who treated him as his slave and manipulated events from the shadows. The one who took everything that mattered away from him.

"Once again we find ourselves at the beginning of a new…adventure, it seems as if only yesterday you stepped inside that test chamber…"

He knew it was pointless to struggle against his control, but that didn't stop the feeling of rage boiling in his chest.

"And now here you are…the savior of humanity, the one true free man…ready to defend the innocents once more against forces of greater evil…"

The enigmatic government man stared upon him, like one would stare upon an insect.

"Indeed, it is time for you to do what you do best and that is obliterating anyone who dares to stand against you…"

He could do nothing but glare. At least that thing left him with the freedom to move his eyes.

The government man stopped and picked a speck of dust from Gordon's shoulder, like one would do from his favorite toy "Do not think I'm unsympathetic to your situation…but we both know that your time alongside your –at this he gave a cold smile - …friends was not limitlesssss."

The man began to fade away "So wake up Doctor Freeman, these are extraordinary times we're visiting…"

Everything turned white and Gordon was forced to close his eyes due to the bright light. He felt himself being pulled by an outside force but strangely there wasn't any pain involved. It felt exactly like when he was placed by the strange man on a train heading for City 17, before he met Barney, Alyx, Dr. Kleiner and later Eli and Dr. Mossman. What an exhausting day that had been.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt solid ground underneath him, the sensation of grass on his back was very welcomed, it had been ages since he felt anything at all.

He was visibly startled when a hand touched his right shoulder.

"Hey, calm down man! No need jump the gun here…" someone spoke in a deep voice.

Gordon felt a little dizzy and his vision was blurry for a couple of seconds before it rested upon an African-American man looking to be in his fifties, he had a somewhat burly physique and a healthy beard on his face.

"Wha…?" his voice was rough, a side effect of not using it for years.

"Sorry for scaring ya like that, ya must have fallen asleep here," spoke the stranger in an apologetic tone.

Gordon shook his head in an effort to clear out his head "W-where am I?"

The man threw him a weird look "Horizon, where else would ya be?" he reached out his hand in a polite gesture "Ya sure you're okay son? Ya look a little pale."

Gordon grabbed his hand and got on his feet "I'm fine, thank you," he stretched out his shoulders happy that he could move his muscles again. After he was done he turned to the older man sitting next to him.

"I'm sorry but what was it you called this place…Horizon?"

The man nodded but looked a little amused "Yeah Horizon, ya don't know the name of the planet you're sitting on?" he then shook his head not giving Gordon a chance to respond "Never mind, it's not really my business but I don't think I've seen ya around here before…name's David," he extended his hand out to be shaken which Gordon immediately accepted out of habit.

He then gave a nod deciding to go with the flow as usual "Mine's Gordon and uh…I think I might be a little lost."

David smiled good-naturedly "No offense, but I already figured that one out," he then gestured for Gordon to follow him "Ya look dressed like a colonist so I'm guessing you're in the right place."

Gordon looked down at the clothes he was wearing and again wasn't surprised that they fitted him like a glove, the material was really comfortable as well.

'_Probably to allow me to blend in'_ he thought with a scowl.

David must have noticed his expression "Something wrong?"

"No, nothing," Gordon shook his head to make his point "So…where are we going?"

"We're going to see Lilith," answered David "I'm guessing you're one of the new colonists that arrived here via shuttle a couple of days before, from Earth right?"

Gordon did a double take _'What did he mean by – from Earth?' _he would have voiced his thoughts but David kept on talking.

"Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Lilith will find some work for ya," at this the older man turned towards him "Things have been pretty tense out here since the comm systems went offline a couple of hours ago."

Now that Gordon looked closer around his surroundings he saw that people were indeed moving with a purpose, he also noticed the futuristic look of the buildings. He made no reaction on the outside but on the inside he was panicking 'How long has it been since I destroyed the Borealis?' he thought.

"Last I heard some big Alliance lieutenant was trying to fix the defense towers up north," there was contempt in his voice "But if ya ask me his presence here spells all kinds of trouble for us," he sighed "I still don't know why Lilith trusts that guy so much, I guess even she gets weak in the knees for the 'tall, dark and handsome' type."

Gordon gave a polite nod but really had no idea what the man was talking about "I'm guessing you don't like this Alliance?"

David scowled "Hell yea I don't like them! As a matter of fact, everyone else around here hates those arrogant assholes," he stopped forcing Gordon to do the same "Bastards won't even lift a finger against whatever's kidnaping people around the Terminus Systems."

He continued "They abandoned us for years and now that we've found deposits of Iridium down south, we're suddenly their new best friends – see where I'm coming from?"

Gordon simply gave a nod, he himself had some pretty bad experiences with the military.

"Anyways, Lilith should be somewhere ahead most likely hanging with that Alliance guy," continued David in a lighter tone.

* * *

><p>"Still can't calibrate the targeting matrix?" a young woman asked the lieutenant standing next to her.<p>

"Lilith, you know that those defense towers are practically worthless if we don't get them functional," explained the man identified as Kaidan Alenko.

She shook her head "Sorry lieutenant, but getting our comm systems back online takes priority."

Kaidan sighed "I'm surprised these people around here haven't blamed that one on me as well."

Lilith smiled apologetically "No one out here trusts the Alliance, it's nothing personal."

Kaidan would have answered, if he didn't spot the crude massive warship entering the planet's atmosphere. Slowly he took the assault rifle from his back and looked through its scope while people around him panicked, his fears were confirmed when he saw that it was a Collector ship.

"W-what is that thing?" whispered Lilith fearfully.

Kaidan grabbed her shoulder "Take everyone and head towards the shelters, I'll deal with them."

"Are you insane!" protested Lilith "You're going to get yourself killed!"

Kaidan shook his head "There's no time to argue! Do as I say!"

His blood ran cold when he looked back and saw a massive swarm of insects heading straight towards the colony, he started firing at them.

"Run, I'll cover you!" he shouted at the horrified woman.

Someone took her hands and she looked back only to see Kaidan being trapped against some kind of a biotic force field, she started running praying that this was nothing but a nightmare.

* * *

><p>"Man, I really have to ask," said David towards Gordon "Why on earth are ya wearing those ancient looking glasses for anyway? Most eye related problems got dealt with ages ago."<p>

Gordon for his part scratched the back of his neck unsure at what to say "Umm…"

He was interrupted by a scream coming from ahead, their eyes widened when they saw dozens of people running towards their position. Some tripped over each other while others crawled desperately on the ground.

David caught an older woman, probably his wife as she collapsed from running next to them.

"Nora! Baby, what the hell is going on?"

The African American woman tried desperately to catch her breath, while tears ran on her cheeks "D-david, there were h-hundreds of them…don't let them c-catch you."

While David was panicking trying to calm his wife down, Gordon's eyes were narrowed trying to locate the source of the distress. His blood ran cold when he saw a swarm of large insects heading directly towards them, his mouth literally dropped open when he also noticed the massive spaceship entering through the sky.

"David we need to go," he said towards the older man.

David however stared at the swarm with determination in his eyes, he then suddenly turned towards him "I'm too old to run like ya and I won't abandon my wife to this hell," Gordon noticed that Nora had fainted "Son, listen to me…get to the comm systems and call for help, I might not agree with the alliance, but they're the only ones who can help us."

Gordon hesitated for a couple of seconds, but then gave a nod knowing that he couldn't force the man to abandon his wife "Take care, David."

The man smiled "Ya too, kid."

With that Gordon started running up North, trying his best to avoid the horrified people around him, just before he rounded the corner he looked back to see David shielding his wife from the swarm, a moment later both of them were trapped in some kind of force field.

Clenching his teeth in hatred he started running faster, months of fighting against the combine showing the results. First of all he needed to get his hands on some weapons, armor and most definitely a crowbar.

* * *

><p>"Tell me you have something," said Shepard towards Mordin, they were both standing in the lab.<p>

The salarian scientist smiled happily "Yes," he gestured for the commander to follow him at a nearby terminal "I've developed a vaccine which should theoretically make us invisible to the swarms."

Shepard raised an eyebrow "Theoretically?"

Mordin shrugged "No time to experiment on live subjects, we should be arriving near Horizon at any minute now."

She sighed "Then I guess we'll be the live experiments, make sure you get multiple vaccines ready. We might need more for safety"

* * *

><p>Gordon hid behind a crate to try and catch his breath, he could still hear the screams from the civilians, but he also noticed that they were few and far between. That could only mean that soon they would all be captured. Looking around his surrounding he tried to locate a shelter, preferably an armory or something like that. The buzzing from the swarm was drawing near his position.<p>

Through sheer dumb luck he noticed someone sneaking towards a storehouse. He looked like the selfish type, who once locked safely inside wouldn't open the door for anyone in the world.

Jumping above the crate he ran as fast as he could towards the safe house, his eyes narrowed when he noticed that the man was about to close the door and leave him outside to die, even though the bastard clearly saw him coming. Making a fast decision he jumped just as the door was about to close, his legs were almost crushed by the heavy steel. Fortunately he landed inside unharmed.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" screamed the coward "Get your own hiding place and…" he would have continued but a second later his neck was being crushed by Gordon's hand.

Slamming the bastard into a wall Gordon shook his head while staring at the man's terrified eyes "Don't do that again," he simply said.

The coward mechanic gave a shaking nod "W-whatever you say man."

Letting the man fall to the ground he once more inspected his surroundings "Are there any weapons and armor around this place?"

That shook the mechanic out of his stupor "Are you insane? Haven't you seen what those things were doing, in a second they'll be everywhere!" a glare from Gordon silenced his protests "Uh…I think there's some things in that crate…courtesy of the Alliance," he said the last word in a bitter tone.

Gordon made his way towards the crates and noticed one with a logo in form of an 'A' and the image of Earth underneath _'This must be this alliance's symbol' _he thought.

Inspecting the container, he saw that there was some kind of locking device installed. Giving a small curse he searched the area for something he could use to force the crate open.

His eyes lit up when he noticed something familiar on a nearby wall. A crowbar was standing there innocently just waiting to get used. He picked it immediately and was about to strike the device open but his common sense kicked in.

'_If this is a military container, there's no way it doesn't have a trap' _putting some insulated gloves he tested his theory.

The moment the automatic lock was struck by the crowbar, it released an electrical current meant to disable anyone foolish enough to steal from the Alliance. Fortunately the gloves protected Gordon from the electric discharge.

"What the hell was that!" screamed the mechanic nearby.

Gordon ignored him and picked one of the objects sitting in the crate "What's this?"

The man sighed "That's a shield generator, pretty damn expensive out here in the Terminus Systems if you ask me."

Gordon searched further through the crate and saw it contained some kind of armor, however it was the gun that caught his attention "And this?"

The mechanic shouted "Hey! Watch where you're pointing that thing!" once the Gordon placed it down the man stepped closer "Haven't you seen a mass accelerator before? Those things pack quite a punch."

Gordon examined the gun further "I didn't see any ammo inside the crate."

The mechanic frowned "You've been living under a rock or something? That thing doesn't need ammo, it just chops off a tiny piece of metal and propels it using a mass effect field. I learned that in high-school."

Our misplaced scientist shook his head in amazement, but something caught his attention "What's a mass effect field?"

At this the mechanic just openly gaped at him, forcing Gordon to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment "Uh…never mind."

* * *

><p>"Okay people this is it, watch your targets - there might still be civilians down there," said Shepard to her team, while heading towards the planet's surface in the Kodiak Drop Shuttle.<p>

Garrus and Miranda nodded and then checked their weapons.

Looking through the window the commander clenched her teeth in hatred, when she spotted the crude design of the Collector ship. She would have lied if she said she didn't feel a pang of fear for a second. After all, this was the ship that caused her death and destroyed her old home, as irrational as it was she felt very nervous.

Miranda noticed her superior's tense shoulders but remained quiet.

Closing her eyes Shepard calmed her breathing and focused her mind on the task at hand, she hadn't become a commander by cowering in her shoes. Grabbing her pistol she noticed that they had arrived.

Garrus was the first one to step out of the shuttle, his sniper rifle ready to take any collectors in the vicinity. Shepard touched the ground and then stared at the ship towering the colony, shaking her head she signaled her team to advance.

After walking a couple of meters, she activated her earpiece when she spotted multiple insects heading towards their position "Mordin, are you absolutely sure that the vaccine will work?"

"Theoretically in limited numbers should confuse detection, make you invisible to swarms," replied Mordin through the comm channel.

"Well, I guess we're about to find out," said Garrus.

After seeing the swarm pass by their heads ignoring them completely, Shepard released a breath of relief. She then signaled her team to increase their pace.

It wasn't long before they made contact with a squad of collectors. Hiding behind cover she periodically opened fire on any drone that dared to approach their position. The collector's weapons were highly powerful and almost every drone had its shields.

Every squad of drones had at least one or two guardians, which had strong biotic barriers and the ability to deploy anti-ballistic shields around the combat area. The drones were very ruthless and had lots tactics as well. All of that made the collectors a force to be reckoned with.

It took some effort, but between Garrus's sniper cover and Miranda's biotic attacks they were slowly making a path through their enemies.

"Comma…tting…all kinds of…ference. We can't mantai…," she heard Joker's voice through the comm channel.

Shepard placed a hand to her ear "Repeat that again, I'm losing your signal."

Miranda shook her head "The collectors are disrupting communications."

"Then I suppose we're on our own now."

* * *

><p>With some help from the mechanic, whose name was apparently Delan, Gordon managed to put on some armor and install the shield generator. The generator in particular was a pain in the ass to figure out, but he wasn't a MIT graduate for nothing.<p>

"There's a high powered GUARDIAN laser up North, supposed to keep hostile ships from landing near the colony," explained Delan after Gordon was equipped and ready for action.

"Had to build a massive generator just to give it enough juice, only we never managed to get the targeting systems online," Gordon had the distinct feeling that he was nowhere near Earth, but like always he put that thought in the back of his mind and focused on the present.

"So the Alliance gave us a huge gun that couldn't shoot straight. Stupid sons-of-bitches," finished the mechanic in a bitter tone.

Gordon placed the crowbar on the magnetic device on his back and picked up the M-6 Carnifex pistol.

"How far away is this laser weapon?" he asked the mechanic.

"It's on the other side of the colony, pretty hard to miss," answered Delan "The targeting controls are at its base."

Gordon gave a nod and moved to the door "Stay here and if you see any humans let them in," he said the last part with a glare aimed at Delan while the mechanic nodded fearfully.

"Yeah, but I'm shutting the door behind you. I'm not taking any chances."

With a sigh Gordon pressed the green button and the automatic door opened.

Stepping outside he walked carefully trying to avoid detection. He absently noticed that the door to the safe house had been sealed again.

He couldn't afford to take any chances so he kept his guard up and his newest weapon ready. His eyes widened when he heard the familiar sound of those insects, probably out to put him in a stasis too. Unfortunately for them, Gordon had A LOT of experience concerning Man-Hacks and those bugs worked on the same principles.

Slowly grabbing the crowbar from his back he ran to cover and waited till the last possible moment. When the giant insects were close enough, Gordon jumped from behind the wall and hit the closest one with enough force to rip it apart. By the time the other two reacted, he already put them out of commission with two expert fired gun shots.

Unfortunately the vibrations caused by the weapon alerted the swarm, which was rapidly making way towards his position. Gordon quickly looked around the area trying desperately to find shelter, he grinned when he saw an old dusty air-duct to his left. He managed to crawl inside just as the seeker swarm reached his location. Fortunately the bugs were unable to follow him, due to the damper sealing off the entrance.

Making his way through the complex ventilation system, he managed to avoid detection and cover most of the residential area. He knew that as long as those flying insects patrolled the area in swarms, there was absolutely no way he could step outside.

While climbing a set of stairs he noticed something through a damper that caused his blood to freeze. It was a larger insect, only humanoid in nature and towering a head above his height. That was something, since he himself was pretty damn tall at 6 feet 2. But what truly caught his attention was the giant assault rifle that thing was carrying.

"_A new combine unit? This can't be..,' _thought Gordon in panic '_I made sure they would never set foot on earth, just where the hell am I?'_

Shaking his head to clear out his thoughts he continued climbing, trying to get to a better position. If he would have stayed a while longer he would have seen the collector open fire at Shepard and her squad.

* * *

><p>"My shields are down!" shouted Garrus over the sound of gunfire.<p>

Shepard got to his position and dragged him to cover "Miranda, biotic singularity now!" she ordered.

Her XO nodded and a moment later two collector drones were floating helplessly through the air. While Miranda was concentrating to maintain the biotic attack, Shepard quickly killed them off with fire from her Geth plasma shotgun. After that she applied medigel to Garrus's shoulder. Once he was healed she told him to take position on a nearby pillar to their right.

The guardian was harder to kill, but Shepard performing a biotic charge quickly solved that problem.

"There's a safe house a couple of meters ahead, I saw it through my scope," informed her turian friend.

The commander nodded and moved ahead with her weapon drawn "Stay on your guard, there might be more of those things hiding around here."

Once she reached the safe house she noticed that the door was locked from the inside, a few seconds of hacking forced the mechanism to activate. Stepping inside the chamber she immediately pointed her gun at the corner to her right.

"I could hear you a mile away get out now!" she ordered in a strong voice.

Slowly an eye appeared from behind the cover "Y-you're human…" Delan said in relief "How on earth did you survive?"

"Who are you and how did you end up in here?" asked Shepard holstering her gun.

"Name's Delan and I work as mechanic here, I managed to find this place before those things got to me," he replied but immediately panicked "Oh Man! They've got Lilith and even Norman, did you manage to free them?"

The commander raised her hand "Calm down, we'll free them soon once we wipe out the rest of the Collectors."

Delan stepped back "Those things were the Collectors? You mean…they're real?"

"I thought they were just made up. You know – propaganda, to keep us in Alliance Space," he continued.

Shepard nodded "Trust me, they're real alright."

Delan started pacing "Damn it! It's the Alliance's fault! They stationed that lieutenant Alenko here and built those damn defense towers. It made us a target!"

Kaidan's name immediately caught her attention "Tell me more about this Alliance rep."

The mechanic rubbed his neck "Lieutenant Alenko? Heard he was some kind of hero or something, but it meant nothing to me though – would've rather he stayed back in Council Space."

"What exactly was he doing out here on Horizon?" asked the commander trying to get as much information about Kaidan as possible.

Delan shrugged "Supposed to be helping us to get those defense towers up and running, but I got the feeling he was here for something else. Spying on us, maybe."

"What about those defense towers." intervened Miranda.

"It's just like I said to that weird glasses-wearing guy a couple of minutes ago," began Delan while Shepard's eyes widened in disbelief "The towers are high powered GUARDIAN lasers meant to defend the colony from hostile ships, but those stupid idiots in the Alliance forgot to give us a manual with it and we couldn't calibrate the targeting systems."

Shepard immediately started working on her omni-tool "That person you told all of this before, did he look like this?" she sent Gordon's picture to his tool.

Delan opened the device on his arm and examined the photo "Yeah, that's right…he looked exactly like this. I mean who wears glasses nowadays anyway? Didn't he get vaccines when he was a kid?"

Shepard closed her omni-tool and asked in a serious tone "Tell me everything you can bout this man," she noticed from the corner of her eyes that Miranda and Garrus were confused with her new topic of interest.

"He was crazy as hell that's for sure, guy jumped inside just as I was sealing off the door…I still don't know how he did that," wondered the mechanic with a frown "Then he grabbed my neck and told me not to do that again, crazy right?"

'_Not if you saw him coming and still decided to leave him outside' _thought Shepard with a scowl but kept her opinions to herself.

"Then he started rummaging the safe house for weapons and armor, I personally thought he was definitely insane if he wanted to go back outside."

"Did he ever tell you his name?"

The mechanic shook his head "No, he was pretty quiet and moved with a purpose, you know? Like it was a usual occurrence for him."

Shepard wanted to ask something else but the man kept on talking "And the weirdest part was that he didn't even know what a mass effect field was, it was like he crawled out of some cave or something"  
>The commander nodded satisfied "I see, thank you for your cooperation," she moved towards the exit "Where was this laser cannon again?"<p>

"It's on the other side of the colony and the controls are at its base, can't miss it," replied the mechanic happy to see them leave.

Once outside Miranda turned to her superior "Why are you so interested in a colonist?"

Shepard activated her omni-tool and prepared a data transfer "I just sent you the newest dossier courtesy of the Illusive Man."

Once the XO saw the subject on the file she fixed her superior with a glare "I'm not in the mood for jokes."

The commander grinned "Funny, that's exactly what I told him as well."

Miranda kept shaking her head in denial "This can't be right, but on the other side it's not in the Illusive Man's nature to fool around."

Garrus scratched his head in confusion "Mind telling your clueless turian friend what this is all about?"

"Our newest recruit is the one and only Gordon Freeman," explained Miranda with a frown while Shepard nodded, both of them sighed when Garrus kept on blinking in confusion "You should really brush on your human history," admonished the commander.

Garrus looked a little embarrassed "Always was bad on human subjects in high school, your poetry in particular makes my head hurt."

Shepard smirked "Ditto."

"But how on earth is he still alive?" asked Miranda while Shepard explained things to Garrus.

"We won't find things just by standing around, move out - there're still some collectors to kill," said Shepard eventually while her other two companions nodded.

* * *

><p>After fifteen minutes of crawling through the vent Gordon eventually found exactly what he was looking for – an opening towards a large courtyard that must have been used by the colonists as a deposit, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses when he spotted several Collector drones guarding the area. No doubt these new aliens knew exactly where the control panel for the GUARDIAN lasers was located, so they deployed several units to make sure that no one would make it pass this point.<p>

He knew that he would need to play this safe, so he aimed the gun towards several fuel containers situated right next to the Collectors. A single shot later and all hell broke loose. The fuel canisters detonated in a domino effect splattering any alien unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire, several metal shards were blasted across the area shredding what appeared to be grey-skinned walking corpses.

Of course none of them saw where the shot had been fired from, so Gordon remained safely hidden. The remaining alien units opened fire around the perimeter screeching in confusion.

During that chaos Gordon moved to another opening and fired at what appeared to be an electrical transformer, the effect was much more devastating and the resulting electrical discharge finished off the remaining guards. A large and grotesque unit that looked to be formed out of fused husks was left barely alive, but a couple of gunshots later his new gun corrected that problem.

Waiting a couple of seconds he saw that the seeker swarms had already arrived in the area, no doubt searching for the source of the wanton destruction. Unable to find anything they left confused towards another part of the colony. Satisfied with his work, Gordon made his way further through the vent.

Eventually he reached a dead end but something caught his attention, it was a warning sign on a small exit that lead to a larger room.

"**Warning! Authorized personnel only!**"

Grabbing his crowbar he forced the door open and climbed down in the middle of a large chamber filled with electrical plants and transmission lines, everything looked relatively new so it must have been built recently.

'_This must be the giant underground generator that man was talking about'_ thought Gordon inspecting his surroundings.

There were some computers as well but Gordon had no idea how to operate on them, so he looked for other points of interest. A second later he found exactly what he needed – a small ceiling hatch enough for one person to fit was located further ahead.

Using his crowbar he opened the hatch and slowly climbed outside, careful not to make too much noise and alert the swarm.

Once outside he noticed that he was right next to the main transmitter, walking closer he spotted the targeting controls at its base. Then his eyes widened when he saw the complex interface of the computer.

'_Okay Freeman, you found your way through Xen…you can figure this one out' _he thought with a grimace.

He was about to press a button when a growl coming from his left grabbed his attention, fortunately he had enough time to block a strike from a surviving husk by using his crowbar. The impact however managed to throw him off balance by a couple of feet.

Clenching his teeth he tried to aim his gun, but the cybernetic corpse smacked it right out of his hand and jumped on him trying to bite his neck. Gordon used the crowbar to keep that thing at a safe distance. Eventually using his legs he pushed it away. Not giving the husk a chance to regain its balance, he plunged the crowbar with such a force, that it passed through its head.

Unfortunately before it died, the husk released a powerful electrical blast that disabled Gordon's shields and threw him on his back causing him to lose consciousness due to the pain.

* * *

><p>After fighting their way through multiple collector squads and searching the residential area for any valuable items, Shepard and her team eventually reached the huge door leading to the courtyard.<p>

Signaling for Miranda and Garrus to take positions on opposite sides of the door, she proceeded to hack through its mainframe.

"Okay, this is it," began the commander "No doubt there's a fuck ton of Husks and Collectors on the other side of this door."

The massive door began to lower itself while Shepard deactivated her omni-tool and grabbed the Geth plasma rifle from her back

"I'll take point," she looked at her team "Miranda, you'll enter next and Garrus will provide sniper fire," satisfied with their nods she raised her weapon.

All three quickly made their way through the gate only to stop in their tracks at the view in front of them.

"What in the spirit's name happened here?" asked Garrus looking in shock at their surroundings.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at the mangled bodies scattered across the area, it looked like someone fired dozens of frag grenades at the Drones and the Husks. A moment later Miranda confirmed her suspicions.

"It appears they were killed by explosives, no doubt caused by firing at fuel containers," she picked a sharp piece of metal stuck inside a husk's head.

"Whoever did this is either very lucky or very skilled," concluded Garrus remaining on his guard.

'_Or both, if whoever did this is who I think it is' _thought Shepard.

Signaling her team to advance she walked towards the center of the courtyard, the image that awaited her caused her blood to freeze.

"Shit! Garrus guard my six…Miranda scout the area," she ordered while she hurried towards the unconscious figure on the ground. Searching for a pulse she sighed in relief when she found a weak one underneath his armor.

Hearing the approaching seeker swarm she immediately administered Gordon the vaccine that Mordin had designed and awaited a few seconds for the swarm to pass by before injecting him with medigel.

Seeing that the color in his face was turning back to normal, she started calling his name in order to wake him up.

**(Gordon's P.O.V)**

He was once more stuck in nothingness but this time he welcomed it.

Here he didn't have to worry about the unfairness of the universe, the hell that sprung at Black Mesa or the fact that he was pretty much responsible for the deaths of millions of human beings. With his own two hands he had unleashed nightmares upon humanity and somehow he knew that the consequences of his actions would rest upon his shoulders forever.

'_It is more that anyone can bear…__**but…we…will…persevere**__…' _this is what the Vortigaunts had told him, but for how long would the guilt continue to last. How much blood would he need to spill in order to wash his sin.

Out here in the darkness he already made his peace with the thought that he would probably never see Alyx again. The only reason why he kept on going had been taken away from him, so why was he still fighting?

"Doct…Freem…., wake up…Free…" a sound was slowly casting the darkness away "Doctor Freem…you need to…"

It sounded like Alyx's voice but it was colder somehow and yet at the same time it made him calm.

"Wake up….Freeman," the voice was now accompanied by a face but Gordon saw only blurry images.

"Alyx?" he asked hopefully but the figure shook her head.

"Hold on…there, this should do the trick," she placed his glasses back on his face.

His sight immediately improved and it was rewarded with the image of an attractive woman, with light brown eyes and dark hair staring at him in concern and a hint of amusement.

"Doctor Freeman, I presume?" she asked with a smile and Gordon was immediately hit with a wave of memories.

"Y-yeah"

She helped him up "My name is Katherine Shepard and I'm an Alliance Commander currently working with an organization named Cerberus, I was sent here to stop the Collectors from abducting the colonists."

Gordon winced when he touched a particular nasty bump on the back of his head "And by Collectors you mean those giant bugs that are crawling all over the place?"

"Exactly, we…" she was interrupted by Miranda's urgent voice.

"Commander, I powered up the transmitter but EDI says that enemy reinforcements are heading our way."

Shepard immediately grabbed the M-77 Paladin heavy pistol from her back and passed it to Gordon "I hope your skills are as good as they said, because we might need all the help we can get."

To be continued…

* * *

><p><strong>Don't forget to review!<strong>


	2. Bittersweet memories

**Disclaimer**: The Mass Effect universe and all of its characters are the intellectual property of Bioware and Electronic Arts, and are used in a non-profit manner for the purpose of entertainment. I own no rights to their creations.

The Half-Life universe and all of its characters are the intellectual property of Valve, and are used in a non-profit manner for the purpose of entertainment. I own no rights to their creations.

**Author's note**:

_'Thoughts'_

"Dialogue"

"**Dialogue & warnings" **

* * *

><p>"Incoming bugs, take cover!" shouted Garrus.<p>

Miranda was the first one to react by hiding behind a wall. She also reinforced her shields with a biotic barrier. Gordon and Shepard followed her example and picked strategic points from where they could open fire at the enemy.

Five seconds later the collector assassins arrived in the area via flying above the wall, but this time they were accompanied by a large glowing unit covered in dark energy. Everyone present knew that it would be quite difficult to kill something like that.

"**I will direct this personally!" ** Harbinger's voice was heard all around the area.

A second later the drones opened fire at the commander and her squad prompting them to remain behind cover.

She started issuing orders.

"Garrus! Miranda! You two take out those assassins while Dr. Freeman and I deal with the red Collector!"

Her two teammates didn't bother on giving confirmations and immediately returned fire at the additional drones. Miranda used her biotics to levitate the insect-like soldiers, while Garrus took them out with his sniper rifle one by one.

Meanwhile Shepard and Gordon were fighting against Harbinger, the later slowly advancing towards their position. The commander swore under her breath when a bullet missed her head by several inches.

She turned towards her new partner "I need to get closer to that thing, cover me!"

Gordon noticed that she was using a short-range weapon and nodded "Whenever you're ready!"

Shepard gave a boost to her shields and jumped from behind cover "Now!"

Freeman immediately opened fire at Harbinger, drawing his attention, while she made haste towards a more suitable position. The possessed Collector managed to hit its newest target a couple of times but missed when Gordon jumped behind a crate to his left.

The commander took notice that Freeman's shots never missed their target, not even while moving. She made a note in the back of her mind to ask him about his training.

'_But first…' _she thought with a scowl '_There's something I need to squash.'_

Calming her mind she jumped from behind cover and fired multiple shotgun plasma rounds, surprising Harbinger with her sudden appearance. She would have also performed a biotic charge, but was forced to retreat behind cover again when Harbinger returned fire.

Meanwhile, from a safe distance Gordon's eyes spotted a small explosive container right next to the drone, firing his gun he whistled when Harbinger was actually pushed back a couple of feet.

Seeing her chance Shepard launched her biotic charge, throwing the possessed collector halfway across the field. She grinned when the thing landed on its head.

A second later it burst into ashes but not before giving her one final threat;

"**I will find you again."**

Barely a moment later Edi's artificial voice was heard.

"Commander, the power generator is currently at 48%," Joker's panicked voice could be heard swearing in the background "Also there is another collector unit heading your way."

As soon as she finished, a new massive construction immediately entered the courtyard. Gordon took notice that it resembled an enormous seeker drone.

'_That thing looks like it could do some damage' _thought Shepard aiming her shotgun "Everyone, seek shelter!"

She didn't have to yell twice as Garrus and Gordon were already behind cover firing their weaponsat the giant cybernetic insect. Before the collector had any chance to do some real damage, Shepard quickly dragged Miranda behind cover as well.

"Weapons free, punch that bastard with everything you got!" was her simple, but direct order.

Garrus fired a concussive shot while Miranda conjured a biotic warp, the later attack having little to no effect on the praetorian's heavy shields. The only thing that seemed to have an effect was Shepard's prototype Geth weapon, so as expected the Collector ignored everyone in favor floating ominously towards her. Knowing she was finished if the thing launched a biotic wave anywhere near her, the commander made a run for the entrance.

"Cover her!" Miranda's loud voice was heard over the clearing.

They tried to keep the collector's attention away from Shepard but their weapons were doing little to no damage and the machine's shields looked like they would hold on for a very long time. The commander already anticipated this the moment her eyes landed on the praetorian, so she decided to use the rocket launcher strapped to her back.

Taking advantage of the alien construct's temporary focus on her team, she grabbed the heavy weapon from her back and took aim.

"Shepard, watch out!" she heard the voice of Garrus on her earpiece and the next thing she knew she was landing on her back after flying through the air, courtesy of a heavy attack from the praetorian. Dazed from the impact she struggled to get her bearings but her mind immediately went into panic mode when she couldn't find the rocket launcher anywhere near her.

A large shadow fell over her and she stared in horrified surprise at the collector's large and imposing form, its four eyes glowing and ready to launch a destructive beam of energy directly at her defenseless form.

'Move!'

Her mind screamed, ordering her to get back on her feet and head to cover. However, though her mind was willing, her body remained unresponsive.

'Move Shepard!'

'Get up!"

'Move, move, MOVE!'

For the second time in her life, Commander Shepard closed her eyes and gave up.

A moment later the praetorian lit up like a Christmas tree in flames and started making horrible high-pitched sounds, meaning that some damage had finally been inflicted. With a quick glance to her left she saw Gordon holding the rocket launcher while sitting crouched above a crate, his green eyes narrowed upon the target.

Of course the giant collector bug only took a second to recover and it was definitely not happy, judging by the horrible high-pitched sounds it was making. Ignoring his primary target he made a beeline for Freeman.

The glasses-wearing scientist jumped from the crate and tried to put as much distance as possible between him and the Collector heavy unit. He already had plenty of experience with fighting giant alien robots that tried their best to turn him into ash.

"Keep that thing away from the console!" he heard the Miranda's voice shouting in the distance and decided to take her advice.

Meanwhile a short distance away the commander was issuing orders.

"Garrus pass me the beam weapon we just found!" after she grabbed her newest toy she opened fire at the floating collector.

The construction was forced to cease its advancement when a beam of particles hit its shields from behind. Gordon, who up until that point was taking cover behind a pillar, saw the opportunity and fired another rocket. Between Shepard and Freeman's assault the praetorian's barriers were already at a quarter of their capacity, its armor was also taking heavy damage.

When the barriers finally collapsed the combined assault of all four of them finally did the trick. The praetorian began to convulse with energy, before it detonated in a shower of sparks.

"Though bastard!" said Garrus through heavy breaths and the others were forced to agree.

"GUARDIAN lasers at maximum capacity." Shepard heard EDI's synthetic voice through her earpiece.

They all watched as the cannons opened fire on the collector ship and had to cover their eyes when said ship fired its engines and made a run for it. Eventually the collectors made their escape by leaving the planet's atmosphere.

"No! Half of the colony is on that ship! You can't let them get away!" Delan ran into the courtyard shouting at the top of his lungs.

Miranda admonished the man "Be thankful that Shepard managed to save the other half of the colony, instead of cowering like you did."

Delan stopped pacing and turned with a frown "Wait…Shepard…I know that name…"

"Commander Shepard, hero of the alliance, first human Spectre and savior of the citadel." they were startled when a new figure appeared in their line of sight. The commander in particular looked excited with the new arrival.

"You're in the presence of a legend Delan," continued Kaidan in a soft tone while not moving his eyes from Katherine's form "And a ghost."

Kaidan Alenko didn't appear to have changed much in the few years Shepard had missed. He still had the same serene expression Katherine had come to love. The standard alliance armor adorned his form coupled with the sturdy M-8 Avenger rifle. Though she was completely happy with seeing her lover safe and sound, there was an unmistaken glint of coldness in his eyes. The stress lines on his forehead and around his eyes did not serve to calm her instincts either.

"Figures that only you get left behind," Delan's furious voice was heard in the background, though he was pretty much ignored by the two soldiers "Fuck this! I'm done with you alliance types."

Gordon watched with a frown as Delan left the area, probably out to drown his frustrations in alcohol. Turning back at the scene developing in front of him he observed quietly as always.

Kaidan walked until he was a foot away from her, he smiled and extended his arm in a friendly gesture "I thought you were dead commander, we all did."

Shepard ignored the arm in favor of enveloping him in a hug, she was so happy with being back in his arms that she never noticed his rigid posture. Miranda and Garrus did but wisely kept their mouths shut.

Her eyes were full of tears but she kept her emotions in check.

"It's been two years Kaidan, I've missed you," she whispered in his chest thinking that everything would be okay from now on. She looked at him confusedly when he removed her arms and stepped away from her.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Wha-"

However Kaidan seemed on a roll "You show up after two years and act like nothing happened? How could you put me through this? I thought we had something."

Katherine looked like she was shot in the gut.

"Why haven't you contacted me?! Why didn't you tell me you were alive?!" shouted Kaidan with venom in his voice.

Anyone close to Shepard would have been surprised at the look on her face. Poor woman for once seemed at loss for words and she looked paler than the first time they put her on the operating table.

"I was **dead** Kaidan, "she said in a hard tone "They've spent two years trying to revive me and Anderson wouldn't tell me where you were."

"I moved on you know..," he completely ignored her words "Then suddenly we get reports about you and Cerberus."

"Reports? You mean you already know?" Garrus joined the conversation.

Kaidan glared at them "We initially thought that Cerberus was behind the missing colonies and we got intel that this next one was about to get hit. Anderson did his best to keep me in the dark but there were rumors that you were back and working for the enemy."

"Thousands of humans are being kidnapped from their homes! You've seen it yourself Kaidan. Cerberus is the only one willing to do something about it," spoke Katherine though her voice was still a little shaky.

Her old friend did not want to hear any of it "For all we know Cerberus could be working with the collectors! You know firsthand the kind of sick experiments they made on humans before!"

Garrus intervened "Dammit Kaidan, listen to what you're saying! Why would Cerberus spend so much time and effort to bring her back, if they are working with the ones out to kill her and all humans?"

"Please Kaidan you have to believe me, the only reason why I'm working with Cerberus is because they want to stop the collectors as much as I do," she implored him to see reason. Refusing to believe that what they had would end like this.

Kaidan shook his head "I want to trust you. I really do. But I can't take the risk, it's obvious a part of you feels like you owe Cerberus for brining you back," he stepped away from her "You've changed but I know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier, always will be."

Katherine's tears were now falling freely but Kaidan took no notice "I've got to report back to the Citadel, they'll decide whether your story is true or not."

She scoffed and desperately wiped at her face refusing to let anyone see her like this "They've ignored everything in the past before, so why would this time be any different?"

Kaidan's eyes were emotionless "Maybe, maybe not. We'll see…goodbye Shepard."

Miranda had studied human psychology intensely and knew that after an episode like this, a woman like the commander would attempt to seal her emotions off. Already Katherine's fists were clenched enough to draw blood and her expression seemed absolutely glacial.

Poor Gordon looked utterly uncomfortable in the background.

Shepard calmly put a hand to her earpiece and hailed her pilot "Joker, send a shuttle. I'm sick of this planet."

Minutes later a futuristic hover car landed in the area and everyone got on board. Everyone except for Gordon that is who was absently staring at the vehicle with a frown on his face.

"We don't have all day human, are you getting in or what?!" Garrus glared but Freeman completely ignored the alien too lost in his own thoughts.

'_Is this the path he wants me to take this time_? _Just play along with his schemes until he decides to put me in the freezer again? I'm starting to get tired of his schemes."_

He was startled when a hand touched his shoulder.

"I'm sure you're having doubts about what lieutenant Alenko said back there," he met Katherine's eyes and noticed that they softened a little "But let me assure you Doctor Freeman that though I may use the tools Cerberus gives me, I don't share their ideals as well."

Gordon couldn't have cared less about some terrorist organization, but there was something in this woman's eyes that intrigued him to no end. So just like that, he once more decided to go with the flow and hope for the best.

* * *

><p>"And this is the mess hall, if you're ever hungry come and ask Gardner for some food. He's here pretty much 247."

Shepard was showing Gordon around the Normandy, her mood somewhat improved since the whole ordeal back on Horizon. She kept her tone professional and pleasant but there was a strain to it. Chambers had insisted to give him the tour herself but the commander would have none of it. She patiently explained the layout of the ship and answered whatever questions he had, just like she did for any newcomer.

"Up ahead we have the medical sector. Follow me I'll introduce you to our chief medic."

Upon entering inside Gordon found himself looking at a standard medical station found on any Alliance ship. A middle age woman quietly working on an advanced computer calmly greeted their arrival.

"Commander, it's good to see you as always and I presume this is the famous Doctor Freeman."

Shepard nodded and made introductions while Gordon and the good doctor shook hands.

"Well, don't take this the hard way," began Chakwas "But you young man, look very healthy for a two hundred year old."

Gordon's thoughts went black "Excuse me?"

Katherine and the Chakwas shared a look "You do know that you have been reported MIA for over 160 years, right?" asked the commander in an incredulous tone.

Gordon had suspected that he had been in stasis for quite a while now, but not this. Not even in his most horrifying nightmares would he have thought that the government man kept him frozen in time for so long. Memories of Alyx, Eli, Dr. Kleiner, Barney and even DoG played in front of his eyes and with a sudden gasp he realized that he would never see them again, a terrible thought that almost stopped his heart.

But instead of screaming in horror, fainting or going completely insane Gordon slowly walked to a nearby bed and sat down in a daze, staring at his hands and completely oblivious to the concerned looks the two women nearby were sending him.

Shepard slowly walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder "Doctor Freeman, are you okay?" She knew it was a completely stupid question as the man was obviously far from okay. But even though she would never admit it, the sudden look in his eyes scared her to the bone, he looked like a man that had nothing else to live for and this was a look that she was quite familiar with.

"My God, I think he's gone into shock!" exclaimed Chakwas.

The commander would have inquired further but his empty words put an end to that.

"I would like to be alone for a while if that's alright with the both of you."

Katherine and Chakwas shared couple more worried looks but eventually accepted his request "We'll be in the mess hall if you need us, take as much time as you need," replied the commander in a soft voice.

He barely heard the automatic door closing, too lost in his thoughts and memories. The number of years he had missed kept repeating over and over again in his mind. He felt something trailing over his face and with a gasp realized that they were tears, he pushed his fingers into his eyes trying desperately to stop their flow. After Black Mesa he swore that he would never cry again, he no longer had the right after becoming the bringer of the apocalypse.

Taking deep breaths he tried to regain his bearings but it was hard, so very hard to forget Alyx's laugh or her smile whenever she saw that he was safe, or the shy glances she sometimes sent in his direction whenever she thought he wasn't looking.

Or Eli's teasing and Dr. Kleiner jovial tone whenever they met.

He felt like he was slowly being ripped to pieces. All of his friends, all of his comrades were long gone, whispers of the past.

A dry pained laugh escaped his lips.

This was his punishment. To be nothing more than a puppet in the hands of a demon, to drift alone till the end of time.


	3. Silent exploration

**Disclaimer**: The Mass Effect universe and all of its characters are the intellectual property of Bioware and Electronic Arts, and are used in a non-profit manner for the purpose of entertainment. I own no rights to their creations.

The Half-Life universe and all of its characters are the intellectual property of Valve, and are used in a non-profit manner for the purpose of entertainment. I own no rights to their creations.

**Author's note**:

_'Thoughts'_

"Dialogue"

"**Dialogue & warnings**"

* * *

><p>Several hours had passed since Gordon was told the unfortunate truth.<p>

He was sitting at a table inside the mess hall staring at a bowl of cereal and milk lost in his thoughts. He didn't quite register when another person pulled out a chair and sat next to him.

"When I told Gardner to give you something consistent to eat, cereal was not on my mind."

The cool female voice startled him from his musings and when he looked up he met a pair of brown eyes that always seemed to gaze at him with slight curiosity.

Turning his eyes back to the food he began to slowly move the spoon in a circular pattern observing how the vertigo caused the cereal flakes to sink to the bottom, all but one. It was ironic really how much this was similar to his life, the government man moving the spoon while everything and everyone sank to the bottom, all but Freeman.

"Doctor Freeman!"

Abruptly, he let go of the spoon as if burned and turned his attention back to the commander, who appeared to be scowling.

"I don't know how they did it back in the past, but it's rude to ignore someone who's talking to you." She said in an annoyed tone while crossing her arms.

Gordon was struck speechless for a moment before he made a fumbling recovery "My apologies, I seem to have a lot on my mind lately, err…commander."

Katherine eyes softened a little "No, you shouldn't apologize. I realize that I probably dumped a lot of things on you recently," she moved a strand of hair behind her ear, unsure on how to approach the man.

"I merely wanted to know how you're holding up," she immediately smacked herself mentally after saying that 'How does someone that woke up over a century in the future, supposed to 'hold up''.

"I'm okay, I've been a little shaken up by what you've told me but I've got it under control," the bags under his eyes told Shepard a different story.

"I see…"

Her tone was genuine but Gordon fully expected the next question "I've been wondering though, how did you manage to stay alive for so many years?"

He detected a slight curious edge in her voice and knew that he had to hide the truth, just as he did when Alyx and all of his closest friends eventually surrendered to their curiosity. Still, he knew it was unfair to hold back information but being labeled as a lunatic was definitely not on his list to be.

"I can't remember, as far as I recall just a day ago I was on board the Borealis trying to stop the combine once and for all." It was a half-truth and by the look in her eyes he knew that she had her suspicions, but to his relief she didn't press the matter.

Katherine knew that the man was trying to be evasive but she believed that he had his reasons and she still had quite a lot of things to ask. Crossing her arms and leaning back she quietly studied the man before her. Here was the guy that single handedly took on a supposedly advanced civilization, with little to no help. She had a little problem believing that.

In fact she wasn't even sure that the Combine had even existed, there was practically nothing left of their supposedly reign of earth in the past. Honestly, it was almost like a story that one would find while watching a cheap sci-fi movie. Extra-universal aliens that invaded and conquered Earth in less than seven hours, because of a resonance cascade caused by scientists from the 21st century, in a top secret research facility deep under the Nevada desert.

It sounded insane even to her ears and that was saying something, because ever since she found out that the reapers were most definitely real, she was willing to pay closer attention to rumors and legends.

There was only one way to know if the man standing before her was the real deal.

"Doctor Freeman, does this mean anything to you?" she suddenly pulled out a necklace from her shirt and held it up in the air.

Gordon's reaction was instantaneous, if she were to have judged by his wide eyes and stiff posture.

"Where did you find this?" he asked in a small voice and tried to reach for it, but Katherine was faster "Not so fast doctor, you haven't answered my question. Does this mean anything to you?" She asked in a cold voice.

IF she was trying to intimidate the man that stared the Nihilanth in the face, then she was gravely mistaking. Gordon rose from his chair to his towering height and replied in a glacial tone "That necklace doesn't belong to you It belongs to Alyx."

From the corner of her eyes she saw that some of the crew members including a certain Turian were ready to intervene but she quickly dismissed their help with a gesture of her hand. Turning her attention back to Gordon she explained herself.

"Sorry about that, just had to make sure."

Gordon slowly sat back down with a confused look on his face.

"You see, ever since you liberated humanity from the combine most evidence supporting their existence simply vanished."

Gordon's eyes widened "That's impossible what about…"

"The Vortigaunts?" Interrupted the commander with a knowing look "They simply grabbed their things and left, no one knows their whereabouts even to this day." She leaned back and relaxed satisfied with the fact that he was no longer a threat. "The citadels scattered around earth self-destructed, the wild life from Xen went extinct and a couple of old and malfunctioning weapons won't convince the citadel council that the combine existed. Add this with the fact that there are no video or photographic records from that time and you got yourself quite a fairy tale.

Gordon massaged his forehead "Humanity was enslaved for over two decades and you're telling me that everyone went up and forgot about it?"

Shepard replied in a comforting tone "It's in the nature of all sentient beings I suppose, most people need cold hard evidence and even then they might choose to ignore everything and seal themselves in their own happy bubble.

Gordon searched her expression "Speaking from experience?"

The commander sighed "A goddamn reaper attacked the citadel a couple of years back and almost ended the entire galaxy. That thing took fire from hundreds of ships and was barely scratched." Her fists were clenched in anger and Gordon realized that the issue had been bothering her for a while "And what do those idiots in the council do? They ignore everything and blame the attack on fucking Geth."

Freeman knew what the Geth were since he had time to study the codex for a while "But weren't the Geth helping that Turian…erm?"

Shepard sighed yet again, something that she seemed to be doing a lot recently, "Saren Arterius and yes they were helping him but only because they worship the reapers as their gods." She leaned closer to Gordon "Listen, I've fought the Geth more so than anyone in the galaxy, even the quarians and I can tell you for certain that some robots that were created a couple of centuries ago don't have the technology or the materials to create a Reaper.

Gordon scratched his beard "It looks like I have a lot of things to read about." He gave a small smile "It's funny you know, I don't think I've done that since Black Mesa."

Things got silent between them and Katherine knew that she had to stir his mind away from depressing thoughts "About the necklace…"

That immediately captured his attention "Yes about that, how do you have it anyway? Last I remember Alyx always wore it."

"My grandmother gave it to me," she simply replied "It turns out that Alyx Vance gave it to my great great grandmother who was amongst the first children born after the suppression field collapsed." She explained with a smile.

"So does that mean…?"

The commander waved her hand and laughed "Oh no, no I'm definitely not her descendant. As far as everyone knows she never got married." She hadn't missed the slight pained expression on his face 'So it is true that there was something between them'. Thinking of that immediately brought her thoughts about Kaidan which she effectively squished down.

"The fact that you've recognized that necklace means that you really are Gordon Freeman and that you knew Alyx Vance personally." She got off her chair and smiled down at him "Thank you for clearing some of my doubts away." She started walking away from the table but stopped when she heard his sad words.

"The necklace belonged to her mother you know, it was the only thing she had left from her after Black Mesa."

Turning back she saw that haunted look upon his face again "I see, thank you for telling me that, enjoy your meal." She replied with sympathy and headed to her cabin to meditate at what she had learned.

* * *

><p>Following his little talk with the commander Gordon decided that he had wasted enough time and decided to explore the place. It wasn't every day that one found himself on a space ship.<p>

The first area he visited was the medical bay where Chakwas gave him a complete and detailed resume of his health. Aside from some scars there weren't any major issues, something that Gordon found weird due to the amount of medpacks he had injected himself with in the past. The doctor even offered to give him an eye surgery that would have corrected his terrible eyesight. However Gordon refused to expose his body to any more modifications.

Following that he decided to head down to the engine rooms, his scientific curiosity getting the better of him. There he met Gabby and Kenneth who immediately started hyperventilating at his appearance and after calming down started asking him dozens of questions per minute. Eventually he politely excused himself and walked towards the drive core.

As a theoretical physicist he couldn't help but be impressed by the structure which pulsated with mass concentrations of energy. He had read about the famous 'eezo' or element zero which made faster than light travel possible but to see it first hand was truly a great experience. With a smile he couldn't help but wonder what Doctor Kleiner, Eli and even Dr. Magnusson would have had to say about the engineering marvel in front of him.

A part of him wanted to immediately grab a scientific calculator and figure out the amount of energy generated by the core but he managed to subdue that instinct for the time.

It was inevitable but his curiosity led him into the 'dragon's lair' where he met the infamous Jack.

* * *

><p>Gordon winced when his back was forcefully slammed to a wall and opening his eyes he met the glare of a young woman who looked like she had a fetish for tattoos and piercings. He had met a lot of different characters in his adventures but nothing quite like her.<p>

"What the flying fuck are you staring at, huh?"

He sighed cursing his ability to get himself into this kind of situations "Sorry, we seem to have gotten off to a bad start." He flinched at the pathetic way he had said that and judging by the look on her face she thought the same.

She abruptly let go of his shirt and started laughing like hell "You are the famous Gordon Freeman?!" She said while gasping for breath.

Despite his usual calmness he couldn't help his eyebrow from ticking, something was very wrong with this one.

"Are you usually this charming to everyone, or is it just towards me," in all insight he probably should have kept his mouth shut since the 'psycho bitch from hell' immediately stopped laughing and started glowing blue, with a murderous look on her face. A second later he knew that he had to put his escape plan in motion.

The blow to her midsection barely moved her but it gave him enough time to duck, while her biotic augmented fist impacted the portion of the wall where his head had been. Judging by the jet of steam that blew in her face, she hit a water heating pipe, just as he predicted.

The codex informed him that mass effect fields, were completely impenetrable to a projectile moving at fast speeds, but it was theoretically possible to tackle a biotic if you wore full body armor, equipped with a shield generator. The two force fields would luckily combat each other.

Gordon did not possess such armor and his HEV suit was probably a pile of rusted metal in the Arctic, but his trip through various portals in Xen had given him a sort of natural resistance to dark energy, similar to the Vortigaunts.

Deciding to put that into practice Gordon slammed into Jack and tackled her to the floor. Of course she immediately threw his larger form off but did not register when he grabbed the M-22 Eviscerator shotgun from her waist.

Jumping on top of him with a bestial scream, she raised her fist fully intent on driving it through his skull. A second later her expression went from savage to terrified when the barrel of a heavy gun touched her cheek and there was no mass effect field surrounding her.

His plan went better than he expected, his body seemed to disrupt a biotic's ability to summon dark energy at least for a short while.

"Let me rephrase that. I'm sorry we've gotten off to a bad start, now who the hell are you?" he said but this time his green eyes pierced her wide brown ones.

* * *

><p>A couple of minutes earlier Katherine was laying on top of her large bed trying to relax the strained muscles in her back. Her voice of conscience who at that moment decided to take the form of Doctor Chakwas, kept on admonishing her lack of attention to her personal health.<p>

Karin had warned her that she needed to rest after injuring her back during the battle with the praetorian, but instead of listening she decided to waltz around the ship and listen to everyone's complains and bitching as usual, especially Miranda's.

Just as her pain was beginning to calm down the annoying voice of EDI resonated through the speakers with an urgent tone.

"Commander!"

Katherine clenched her teeth "EDI I don't care even if a Reaper armada is surrounding us, go away."

"I believe you might want to know that Doctor Freeman just entered Jack's quarters."

The commander probably ruptured her spine with the speed she got out of bed and ran out the door.

* * *

><p>There were few things that could leave Commander Shepard, the hero of Elysium with her mouth hanging open and the sight of Jack sitting on top of Gordon, their faces flushed and their breathing labored was one of them. Katherine's shocked mind didn't quite register the fact that Gordon was holding Jack at gunpoint.<p>

The look on their faces when they saw her, were like two kids with their hands in the cookie jar.

Shepard palmed her face "They were getting it on and you decided to call me for this!" she shouted at the ceiling.

"My apologies Shepard, I wasn't aware that humans engaged in such…mating habits. Does screaming and tackling one another constitute this act?"

The commander decided not to dignify that question with a response and only gave a low pain filled groan "I'll be in my cabin and I want no distractions for the next twelve hours, understand?"

"Yes commander."

She gracefully turned around and tried to leave the scene with as much dignity as possible, while limping up the stairs and holding her back.

* * *

><p>After Shepard left Jack slowly got off and backed away while glaring at Gordon, who imitated her but wisely kept the gun aimed. Suddenly she gave off a smirk that ringed alarm bells inside Gordon's head.<p>

"Well now, looks like someone has a pair of balls after all," she sat down on an improvised chair never taking her eyes off him "Name's Jack, also known as the last bitch you ever want to fuck around with."

Gordon wasn't impressed but he hid that pretty well "Nice to meet you Jack my name is Gor…"

"I know who you are dickface!" Interrupted Jack with a snarl "Some hot shot hero that apparently saved the world yadda, yadda yadda!"

She scoffed "Never gave two shits about you, nor do I believe that the combine even existed."

A frown appeared on his face but he knew better then to confront her at that point.

"But you've got some skills I'll give you that," she continued with her grin back on "Now get the fuck out of my face four-eyes and you can keep the gun as a souvenir."

Freeman slowly retreated up the stairs and once he was back to safety he slowly let go of a breath of air that he didn't realize he had been holding.

Staring at the shotgun in his hands he thought that at least he got some spoils from that whole ordeal. Adjusting his glasses he took the gun to his quarters and then continued his exploration of the Normandy-SR2.

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